


Impact

by booqwu



Series: jukyuniverse [1]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 21:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18107012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booqwu/pseuds/booqwu
Summary: As he fell, he waited for the impact.





	Impact

As he fell, he waited for the impact.

 

All his life, Juyeon had been told that falling for someone would only end in broken bones that never truly heal. He saw his mother crumpled on the ground, bleeding and broken the moment his father’s foot left the doorstep. The memory of his younger brother’s confused words and his long lasting belief that their father would return would greet Juyeon’s mind like an old friend on late nights. The pictures that filled his subconscious like an old film reel depicted love as paper cuts soaked in lemon zest - a sharp, fierce sting that buries deep and soaks into the skin. 

 

He never could picture anything else until he met Changmin. 

 

Changmin’s presence felt like the cup of hands on his cheeks, warmth surrounding his headspace and creating a comfortable serenity, almost like that of a perch on top of a peak looking down at the busy world below. With each breath that Juyeon took, he walked one step more to Changmin. Changmin, with his petite hands that Juyeon could encase with his own on winter days, and his heart shaped smile that he could always cover with his lips. 

 

He remembered the day Changmin told him he was in love with him. They were laying in Juyeon’s bed with Changmin’s head on his chest, heartbeats performing in halftime with each other. He felt the movement of his head and Juyeon held his breath as he stared into Changmin’s eyes, immediately losing it as he saw the complete adoration that was in them.

 

“You don’t have to say it back, Juyeon,” Changmin said in a serious tone. Despite how precious Changmin’s vocal tone was normally, he knew how to sound much older than he actually was. Juyeon really only saw it with things that he knew Changmin loved - dance, his family, and now Juyeon himself. 

 

“I just wanted to tell you that I love you a lot,” Changmin continued, taking a shaky breath but keeping eye contact with Juyeon. One thing Juyeon admired about Changmin was no matter how shy he was, how uncomfortable he was, or how scared he was, he took things he needed to deal with and faced them head on. “It’s been really bothering me for a while, not telling you. At first I was afraid of you not saying it back, but love’s a different journey for everyone, and I don’t want to rush you on yours.” Changmin smiled softly, his hand reaching up to intertwine with Juyeon’s. 

 

“Thank you for telling me,” Juyeon whispered softly, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Changmin’s forehead. “I know it must have been really nerve wracking, baring your heart like this.”

 

“It was a little,” Changmin agreed, smiling softly as Juyeon kept his lips on his hairline. “I know you’ll take good care of it though. You were given big hands for some reason.” Juyeon laughed quietly, but his thoughts were elsewhere. 

 

When Juyeon visited home one weekend he was cooking with his mother in the kitchen. Staring at the flour, eggs and water he was supposed to be mixing, he asked his mother the one question that’s been plaguing his mind since he could remember the 5 o'clock shadow of his father’s face. 

 

“Is it worth it?” Juyeon asked, staring outside the kitchen window. He saw his brother, now old enough to have his own girlfriend, splash her with the cool water that helped unburden the heat of oncoming summer. His mother questioned him further, to which he replied, “Falling in love. Is it worth it?”

 

With a sad, knowing smile, his mother hugged him tightly. Though he used to go to her shoulder, she now goes to his, and he laid his chin on her hair. Tears filled his eyes as he could almost see the same film reel playing before him - jumping, falling, impact - grief. 

 

“My dear boy, I have a feeling you know the answer already,” she said, rubbing his back carefully. “You’ve taken the leap, haven’t you? Now you’re waiting for the impact. Will it be worth it? You won’t know until it hits you. 

 

“Don’t let my unlucky story burden you, my son. Though I was broken, I learned to love you and your brother even more from it.” She took his face in her hands, smiling. “If it hurts, just fall a different way next time.”

 

Juyeon didn’t think about that conversation until half a year later. He was sitting on the couch in his and Changmin’s shared apartment, reading a poetry book he had been recommended. When he heard the sound of a tiny yawn, he glanced up to see Changmin walking out of their shared bedroom after a nap. 

 

There it was.  _ This is the impact.  _

 

Changmin looked the same as always - he had his fake glasses on that he wears because they “make him look cuter”, one of Juyeon’s sweatshirts, his plaid pj pants, and tousled up hair. He looked the same, but so very different. Juyeon could feel his bones shattering, breath constricting, and heart rising like a balloon until it hit the back of his throat.

 

_ As he fell, he waited for the impact.  _

 

He never thought pain could be a relieving feeling. 

 

“Hey honey,” Changmin mumbled, going to grab his cell phone and curling up next to Juyeon on the couch. “Did I miss anything while I was asleep?”

 

“No,” he said, wrapping an arm around Changmin and kissing the crown of his head, as he always does. “Just that I love you.”

 

The smile Juyeon received was really the only impact he’d been waiting for.

**Author's Note:**

> the jukyu tag is so DRY why IS that
> 
> also this was the result of me using a random first line generator - i got "as he fell, he waited for [blank]" and im honestly really proud of what i managed to come up with
> 
> ill definitely be posting more jukyu as they are my babies that i would absolutely die for stan soulmates cowards
> 
> follow me on twitter @chngmic i literally just cry about them 24/7


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